operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize