He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize