I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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