Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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