My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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