I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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