I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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