There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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