I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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