yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize