we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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