Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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