He asked me if I "almost moaned"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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