when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize