I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize