Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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