just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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