Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize