I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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