So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize