the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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