Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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