Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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