I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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