Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize