I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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