so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize