In the future we'll all be gay
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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