I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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