i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
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