Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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