just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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