Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize