Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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