I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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