we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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