he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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