Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize