So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize