her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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