dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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