fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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