Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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