So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize