i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize