i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize