An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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