DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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