my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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