I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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